Author--Larry Webb

“I Just Got Chewed Out by a Pro”

So, it is dry out, right? Like, we haven’t had a decent rain around here in ages. So, doing my duties, I went out to water the flowers. I started my little project by soaking my four hanging baskets that I bought from the Sprout House in Perry. 

And then, all hell broke loose. The hose hadn’t much more than entered the first basket when it turned into Squawk, squawk, squawk—flutter, flutter, flutter, and two baby wrens fell out of the nest and onto the ground. 

I picked them both, wiped them off, and put them back in the basket. By that time, Mamma Wren was screaming obscenities at me unmercifully from the tree which is about ten feet away. I apologized profusely and let her know the kids were fine. Doesn't matter. She hates me, threatened to call 911, the Mafia, and some acquaintance of hers known as the Hit Hawk from the Amazon. 

I moved away to the other baskets and flowers, but it didn’t matter. She never shut up until I left the yard. At least, I’m assuming she finally did. I came into the house, closed the windows and turned on the air conditioner. If nothing else, I can’t hear her threats anymore. Thank goodness.

“Cool and Uncool”

I was out driving around MSU one day last week and was amazed to see so many solar panels. The major parking lots all have them. Clean energy is cool, but my goofy mind started looking in other directions.

Have you ever had your car parked out doors during a hail storm, sleet or ice storm, blizzard? If I were on campus during one of those delightful events, I would much prefer being parked under a solar panel than out in the open. I also think your car might stay a little cooler on the inside during days like we’ve had recently.

Then I got to thinking. How cool would it be to have all the major parking lots in town and the downtown streets where there is metered parking have them also. I have no idea how much electricity it would generate for the city, but certainly they would pay for themselves over time.

Now to the uncool… With it being so dry, no rain in ages, I did a cemetery run yesterday to water the flowers. At my in-laws, someone had pulled out a geranium out of their urn and thrown it on the ground. I replanted it and watered the thing thoroughly, hoping it wasn’t totally dead and would survive. 

Then, I went to my parents’ site at a different cemetery, and someone had stolen a geranium from in front of my dad’s marker. Someone told me last night that they had heard of multiple instances of vandalism in that particular cemetery. Like, why? People think it’s funny? Have nothing better to do? Are just plain A.H.’s? I’m putting my money on the last.

In the column to the left, "Irrelevant Rants" you can also check out those you've missed.

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Really Short Shorts is a compilation of forty short stories—most ranging from four to six pages. There is a wide range of topics included. Most of the stories deal with people--from little kids to seniors. Most of them involve some humor. Some are pure fantasy, others are more serious. Keep in mind that my ultimate goal in writing is to entertain myself. If you enjoy my stories, then that's a plus. Read and enjoy.
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The team had just finished the last day of tryouts, and the roster sheets had been posted on the door. Jayden, who had played halfback as a freshman, did not see his name on the JV roster. Devastated, he sat alone on the bench in the dressing room, with his head buried between his knees. His mind flashed back to what his father had preached to him his whole life. “You can’t do that, you’re too puny. You can’t do that, you’re not smart enough. You Can’t do that!”

So, what should he do? Should he give up, or should he fight? With the help of a number of people—his teachers, his counselor, his coach, his soon-to-be best friend and his friend’s mother, Jayden developed his own life’s mantra—I Can, and I Will!

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